Year 6: Cast Iron and Candy, and the realization that we spend so much time together we can’t even come up with an original thought.

It took a few minutes to sink in, but when the woman working at the counter where I bought Steve’s anniversary gift said, “Wow! This is the second one of these I have sold today!” I realized that I KNEW who that other person was. Sad. Just sad. This is what knowing someone for over half your life gets you. We have officially begun sharing a brain, and are just one step away from wearing matching outfits.

6 years of marriage, 9 years of cohabitation and 20 years of knowing someone: priceless.

A Trip Down Memory Lane
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Cashing in our McDonald’s bucks

Yesterday we came to the realization that Steve’s precious Hot Rod Neon is not going to make it much longer. Even though this has been a painfully obvious fact to me, he has had a serious case of denial. Nevermind that the gas gague doesn’t work, the auto door locks are intermittent, the rear defrost mechanism is broken, the stereo doesn’t work, the left blinker goes on when you hit the brakes, the headlights have a defect that makes them fog up from the inside and it has an oil leak which has allowed him to not have to change the oil (only add new) for the last 50,000 miles. The only thing it has going for it is that you can get, like, 150 miles to the gallon.

His optimism that the car would last us for another 2 years was noticeably tempered when he had to be jumped twice yesterday in a matter of 10 minutes. Yes, it is probably just a battery issue, but both of us are in agreement that – for all of its flaws – there is a sort of harmonious environment that has been created within that car, and once that environment is breached with any kind of repair, it will set that environment off-balance, and the whole system will begin to shut down. Once we break that oily seal that is holding everything together, pieces will probably start falling off.

The thought of getting a new car isn’t that bad (except the shopping and buying part – I’d rather chew off my own arm then have to deal with a car salesman), it is getting a new car payment that is where the real pain begins. Throughout the course of our entire relationship we have never had a car payment, so how fitting that the same month we take on a new car payment we also take on a new day care payment. And so we began brainstorming: wouldn’t it be great if car dealerships would allow you to cash in all your miscellaneous cash-value items like gift cards, lottery tickets, coffee stamp cards and McDonald’s bucks?

Rule #1: Know Your Audience

Steve has this habit of offering me ridiculously low sums of money to do things that otherwise sane people would never even consider. Today, for instance, as I was making a sandwich he says to me:

“I’ll give you a dollar if you eat that entire jar of jam.”

To which, my response is:

“I’d be much more likely to take that challenge if you bet me an hour of sleep.”