Category Archives: Porter

as in, Magoo.

The Winged Walstons

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Stella was resolute from the very first moment we asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween: A Beautiful Butterfly. As the pieces of her costume started coming together, however, it became more and more apparent that Beautiful Butterfly had actually metamorphosized into Disco Butterfly. The true turning point came when the thin, pink glitter belt was added. It looked as though she fluttered straight in from a Donna Summer video. As usual, this doesn’t come without some relevant back-story. Of late, Stella has found the wonderfulness that is disco. Her #1 request that she repeatedly implores from the back seat is YMCA. Yes, everyone, my child is hooked on the Village People. Running a very close second is We Are Family, as in – I got all my sisters and me. In both cases she knows the words, and sings them with great gusto. Reason 376 we know, unquestionably, that she is our child.

I took Porter’s non-verbal cues of BEING UP ALL NIGHT that he wished to go as something nocturnal. This, coupled with the fact that he is getting four teeth at once and BITES ON EVERYTHING, made it a no-brainer that he should be a bat. He looked adorable, natch, and (along with his sister) posed for about a zillion photos .

We opted for a loop around the Arcata Plaza again this year, and after witnessing the unsavory types that trick-or-treat our neighborhood, I decided we would invite ourselves over to Dore & Lewis’s house for the remainder of the evening, so as not to have to pass out candy to the taller-than-I-am “kids” that ring our doorbell into the late hours of the night. Plus, that meant we didn’t have any left-over candy that I would surely consume by the fistful.

Little did I know that we would get to see one of the more memorable moments of the evening when Steve, Lewis and Porter all went to the door to hand out candy, as Steve casually remarked that they were dressed up as a gay couple who had just adopted their first baby.

Pretty much, just another Sunday.

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The winner of last night’s sleep-off was Porter – but purely in terms of consecutive sleep hours, which was 8. Nevermind that it was from 7:00pm to 3:00am. From that point on it was just two more hours of fruitless attempts at getting him back to sleep.

Stella’s cumulative sleep time will never be actually known, but from the time the lights were turned out, until the time she was finally granted permission to be “up” at 5:15am (new time) she emerged from her bedroom no less than a dozen times. To be truthful, I don’t know if she ever actually slept at all.

Steve and I probably, each, garnered between four or five hours. There was even one point (at about 3:30 am) when all four of us were up and roaming the house.

As of 7:00am this morning, Porter is already back in bed taking a nap, Stella has watched two Wonder Pets videos, we have listened to the most recent podcast version of Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me, and Steve has spent the entire morning seranading me with something he created based on the opening riff of Rock Lobster, wherein he spells D-E-N-N-Y-aPOStrophE-S. He even told me that if we all went dressed as we were (me, of course in my pajamas, and going on my second day without a shower), he would buy me a new pair of shoes. I am sorry, but no matter how sleep deprived I am, I am not willing to trade my dignity for a new pair of Danskos.

One of the reasons Steve is so obnoxiously chipper is that today is The Day. A day, to him, better than all gift-giving holidays rolled into one: the return to Standard Time. No, this has nothing to do with what time it gets light, or that he has some strange vendetta against Daylight Savings Time. To a man with the thorough tendencies that he possesses, there is nothing better than the day he is allowed the celestial opportunity to get up and methodically change every single timekeeping device in our possession. I fear, however, that this holiday (yes, in Steve’s world, this is a holiday) is being diluted with the advances of technology. I could hear the crest-fallen tone in his voice as he attempted to change the time on his cell phone only to find that it updates automatically. This is also true with the computers. He hasn’t checked yet, but I think he is a tiny bit concerned that the VW will also have reset itself. This is a car, after all, that will alert you when the temperature drops below 39 degrees so you know to watch out for icy conditions. I wonder if I can program it to get up with my children at night? Ah, but I digress.

So here we are. Again. Me, complaining about the fact that I am this far from standing on the corner holding a sign that says Will Work For Sleep, Steve, celebrating the opportunity to touch all the doorknobs, and my children, reminding us that being a parent – first and foremost – requires an enduring and impenetrable sense of humor.

Oh, and I’ve gotta go, because Porter’s up again.

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Update: So how’s this for irony? After reading this post, Steve informed me that I hadn’t updated the timestamp on my blogging software. See? I’m not kidding, people.
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The Season of the Pumpkin

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This year we planned a coordinated effort for our pumpkin patch outing. Taking into consideration Stella and Alex’s BFF status, it was natural that they do the next best thing to hanging out at the mall scamming for guys – roaming a dirty field for squash. 3-ish year olds love this kind of thing. No, really.

Whereas I used to be the kind of mother who wouldn’t even consider leaving the house without 2 spare changes of clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles, toys, birth certificate, umbella stroller and three additional apparatus for carrying, I realized halfway there that I had forgotten any kind of coat or hat for Porter. This is why you may notice a bluish tinge to his lips in some of these photos. Poor kid. He’s lucky I haven’t left him on the top of the car yet.

We waited a week to actually carve the pumpkins, and it was all I could do to convince Stella that a knife was not a kid-friendly tool…even the “safety” kind. She eventually acquiesced, and accepted that the best she was going to get was to have her hand on mine while I did the actual carving. She did have a fun time scooping guts though. Being that I am the only one who takes photos around here, and I had to be on the task of keeping her away from the weapons of destruction, there are not a lot of photos of the actual carving part. Instead, what you will see is pumpkins, one photo of Stella with a splayed open pumpkin, then all the pumpkins and jack-o-lanters neatly displayed for your viewing pleasure.

Being that Porter was napping during the majority of the carving activities, I had to stage some ‘Boy with Pumpkin’ shots for those of you who would likely complain if there weren’t adequate seasonal photos with both children (yes, grandparents, I am looking at you).

Porter McGoo Turns 6 Months Old

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Happy 6-month birthday, Porter!

I know that in the years to come, as you read through these pages it will probably seem like all I do is drone on and on about your sister and her antics, while only referring to you by names like Baron Von Cutenstein. Although this may be a tiny bit true, I know there are going to be many days in the years to come wherein I will tell the world about how you decided to bury the tv remote in a potted plant. Don’t worry, your day will come. In the meantime, feel good that all I can do is tell you how cute you are.

The fact is, you are becoming more and more independent every day, and – based on your agility of late – will be crawling quicker than I can say baby-proofing. I took a short video clip of you today and managed to catch some of my favorite things that I love most about you right now. Look closely and you’ll observe:

  • The cute noise you make when you chew (not suck) on your thumb.
  • Your fauxhawk.
  • The way you sit up by yourself without tipping over.
  • That frankenstein noise you make when you start to laugh.
  • That everything within an arms reach will eventually make it into your mouth.

Oh, and if those front teeth aren’t in by the end of the month, I am sure your dad will be on eBay ordering you up a pair. Not to mention, we are both tired of holding you up over our heads only to have you give us a huge smile while simultaneously unleashing a gigantic blob of drool onto our face.

Porter Video: 6 Months old