Category Archives: Steve

My really cute, garden-variety nerd of a husband.

Get out your lighters.

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For Father’s Day, Steve got a veritable plethora of gifts: leather gloves, stainless water bottle, drill holster, bag of peanut butter chips, plaid shirt – because, you know, nothing says Happy Father’s Day like a bag of peanut butter chips. One of the random assortment of gifts of honor also included a Journey CD. The only thing missing from this list is a set of mini-screwdrivers. Oh wait. Nevermind, he got one of those too.

Not that I am a Journey expert or anything (that is the job of my muscle-shirt-wearin’-Trans-Am-drivin’ husband and brother-in-law), but I have heard those anthems enough times to recognize that something was different. Granted, it took me the better part of 4 songs to reach this conclusion. I off-handedly mentioned that this must have been one of those “digitally remastered collections”, at which point I was schooled on their new incarnation. Apparently they found a new lead singer that is a vocal dead-ringer for Steve Perry. It’s almost creepy.

We managed to catch Stella’s interpretive dance to Faithfully on video. Especially touching, is when she dedicates it to Steve for Father’s Day. I immediately tried calling dibs on it for my site, but Steve would have none of it. So we arm-wrestled. That didn’t work either. So, here it is over on his site. Go there at your own risk. If the kelly green doesn’t give you a blinding headache, then the contrasting yellow surely will. I can’t believe I am actually going to let this man have administrative permissions to my website.

Happy Baby Daddy Day

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Today is the day that families around the world are supposed to worship thy father by giving him a day of leisure, pampering him with beer and meat flavored treats, and overall providing him with an opportunity to live life like he did before everything was hijacked by the chaos loving warmth of children. The reality of this holiday has been somewhat skewed by the Hallmark Corporation. Instead, Steve and I have both realized that this is an opportunity to reflect on all the aforementioned items listed. And, it has only taken us 4 years to figure this out.

This being the case, Porter is nursing some strange malady that had him throwing up all afternoon and evening Friday, graduating to some intestinal discomfort yesterday, and today is complaining that his mouth hurts. We are just pumping him full of ibuprofin and parking him in front of an endless stream of Pixar/Disney. Stella is, well, Stella – need I say more? Yes? Perhaps you should spend some time reading THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE. Let’s just say it would have been nice if Steve could have opened just one of his own Father’s Day presents. Just one.

In our eternally evolving parental wisdom, we have figured out that this day of honor and relaxation isn’t a single, pre-determined day, but rather a take-it-when-you-can-get-it hour or two here and there. Which is why I feel supremely proud that yesterday, Steve was able to find a quiet afternoon of tv watching and beer drinking while Stella and I spent the day in town and Porter took an extended nap.

So to my dear husband, all I can say is, you’re welcome, and Happy Father’s Day. Yesterday.

stella, porter and steve

Bolton + Trumpet + 90’s Hits = Yeah, Baby

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In keeping with this week’s theme of STEVE, I give you this picture. It surfaced when we were unpacking our volumes and volumes of books, and I have been trying to come up with a post ever since. Then I said to myself, “Self, this photo needs no context. It stands on it’s 90’s-hits-trumpet-sheet-music own.”

sheet music

Groundhog Day

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So instead of getting a phone call from Steve on Friday morning telling me how awesome it was to no longer have two gigantic tampons shoved up his nose, I instead got a call telling me that he was scheduled to be back in pre-op at noon. Dwuh?

Turns out that although the packing came out of one side fine, when the doctor went to remove the other side Steve experienced the OH MY HOLY JEEBUS I’M GONNA DIE kind of pain. Thusly, the doctor did some investigating. I know what you are all thinking – no, there weren’t any keys or loose change in there. He did, however, find a giant hematoma bulging over the tops of the splints. About the time the doctor started asking if he had eaten yet, it became clear what this meant. Surgery. Again. Today. Non-negotiable.

Considering the surgery was scheduled for 1:00, I spent the next hour lining up my Plan B Team. [Thank you Judi and Andrea for everything.] Once the kids were addressed, we headed down for round two.

Although the first round of recovery was not exactly comfortable, the second can definitely be filed under G, as in Grounds for Divorce. They packed everything tighter to eliminate any additional bleeding, plus going under general anesthetic twice in 4 days is, well, its pretty crappy. Not to mention the disappointment of having to start recovery all over again.

He goes in first thing Monday to have the packing removed. Again. Hopefully with no references to Jeebus this time.

steve