So let’s file this one under the “I will never…” category in my own rules and standards parenting manual (that, as you have probably figured out by now, has had about 600 pages ripped out).

With the remodel done, and the looming task of rebuilding our physical space to some sort of normalcy, we are yet again reminded of what they refer to in scientific journals (or at least should) as the ‘toddler effect’. It goes something like this: take the project’s overall hours in heretofore “normal” hours, multiply that by about 37, multiply that by 2, divide that by the cosine of the root of 76, then add 6. It is precisely this multiplier effect that calls for desperate measures…pulling out the big guns…calling in the cavalry, yes folks I parked her cute little butt in front of the TV. Out came the entire 12-volume DVD set of Baby Einstein, and the 2 High5 DVDs and her comfy ladybug chair and away we went.

Guilt demands that I find an upside; that I somehow make this an okay thing; that I rationalize it until I have actually turned it around to a *good* thing. No matter how hard I have tried, I just can’t reconcile the fact that a video is *good* because they teach the merits of exercise….while you are sitting on your butt watching it. There is also the trance-like affect that these videos have on her. No other television evokes the same intensity of engagement. It is like those perky faces on the other end are somehow beaming laser beams into her brain willing her to watch without blinking — the same way they are burning their inane songs into my subconscience. I wake up singing them, for God’s sake!

All of this evilness aside, Steve and I actually had an opportunity to work…side by side….for, like an hour at a time! If it wasn’t for that &$^% plumbing nightmare that surfaced Sunday morning, we actually would have really been able to get through one entire project. Instead, we are now halfway into about 3 — which, in our world is pretty damn awesome!

Okay, so let’s recap. Stella (aka the most brilliant 16 month old e-v-e-r) can now do the following:

1. Identify colors
Dad to Stella while at the shoe store: “Stella, where is the orange shoe?”
Stella walks to, picks up and identifies said orange shoe.

2. Identify animals
Grandpa Andy to Stella while holding two different animal shaped paper plates: “Stella which one is the bear?”
Stella contemplates briefly then points to aforementioned bear and says “Dat!”

3. Speak sign language
Mom to Stella: “Tell your gramps thank you for that 5th bite of kaluah cream pie”
Stella signs ‘thank you’ to Gramps

4. Almost say the word Alligator
Dad to Stella: “Can you say Alligator?”
Stella to Dad: Aligulagulagula
(Gramps is working on ‘Recycling’ but we are not quite there yet)

Next up — String theory!

Construction is clipping right along. Bathroom tile is going up as I sit here and write. Kitchen is in a holding pattern waiting for taping and skimming — to be done early next week. About the time the walls are done the cabinets should be rolling into town (a huge shout out to Scott). If all goes well — we are hoping to wrap things up somewhere around the 3rd week of April. Hopefully we will be a little better at sticking to a timeline than we have been at sticking to our budget!

As for the other reason you all read this thing — our darling Miss Stella has mastered the art of removing her clothes in record time. Among the many, many stories of ‘clothing emancipation’: I was tending to a late night waking recently, and as I stood there waiting to see if she was settling in, I hear zzzzziiiiiiiiip as she adeptly maneuvers her upper body out of her pj’s. It won’t be long before we start securing her clothes with duct tape. At least until the weather warms up.

Oh, and we recently decided that in lieu of completing and returning the customer satisfaction survey sent to us by the flooring company, we have asked the floor guy that did our original estimate to come out to take a look at some of the areas that we have never really felt great about. It should be interesting to see what he has to say.

Doctor’s appointment this evening. Will post soon with baby stats.