I love music. I love to constantly have a steady stream of it playing in the background, shuff-shuff-shuffling any of our hundreds of CDs in a sequence that is never the same twice. I like it when I hear a song that I haven’t heard in a decade and it monorails me down memory lane to the time and space that it holds in my memory. I love the digital age of music wherein I can hear, read about or in other ways stumble across a song, make a mad dash to the computer and have it downloaded and burned in a matter of minutes. That is what I call progress.

Progress is also not having to be a slave to format. Yes, you know what I am talking about. The ear-bleeding perkiness that is….children’s music. It burrows into your subconscious until you find yourself singing a song, not even realizing “AGH! This is from the Hi-5 soundrack — what am I doing?” I blame Steve. HE is the one that went to Borders to buy the DVDs, and HE is the one that just had to download all 37 of their cotton-candy-top-40-the-speakers-ooze-sugary-sweetness songs. Action had to be taken. So here, in all it’s glory, I give to you the anecdote for all that is perky. Everyone, I give you: Stella’s Bad Mamma Jamma Mix ’05.

This mix encapsulates the following important kid-AND-MOM- friendly musical stylings: world music, hip indie/alternative tunes, French-Cajun music, western cool, bluesy cool, reggae mon

• “E Eats Everything” || They Might Be Giants
• “Jump in the Line” || Harry Belafonte
• “Mahna Mahna” || Cake
• “La La La La Lemon” || Barenaked Ladies
• “A,B,C et 1,2,3” || Michael “Beausoleil” Doucet
• “Go for G!” || They Might Be Giants
• “The Bowling Song” || Asleep at the Wheel
• “(Put the lime in the) Coconut” || Toxic Audio
• “Rubber Duckie” || Kelly Hogan
• “Rolling O” || They Might Be Giants
• “Little Sack O Sugar” || Taj Mahal
• “(The Banana Boat Song) Day-O” || Harry Belafonte
• “Bare Necessities” || Tony Rebel

May this be the first of many wonderful listening memories, my hip little dancing girl.

The Number Thing:
So all of you family members of the male persuasion will be thrilled to know that Stella can correctly identify (without even being asked, thank you very much) where the 8 and the 2 are on a tape measure. Oh, and that it is yellow.

The Laundry Thing:
Stella also has exhibited firm grasp on the laundering process, properly identifying who each and every piece of clothing belongs to (no, I am not kidding, she didn’t even miss one), helping to load said pieces into the washer, pointing out the door, the soap, the water and the buttons. Oh Stella, the laundromats that await you.

The Cup Thing:
She refuses to allow me to put the lid on her tippy cup, insisting that she drink it “big girl style.” I have mopped up more milk off the floor than I care to even mention, but far be it for me to impede “progress.”

The Owie Thing:
So somewhere along the line, Stella wound up with an owie on her finger. During this episode she was enlightened to the concept of kissing the owie. So now, whenever she hurts herself she kisses her finger and runs to you crying “owie, owie” and holding out her finger….even if she hurt her head. And the best part: no matter where she was hurt, when you kiss her finger, she feels better.

The Sleeping Through the Night Thing:
Oh wait, she doesn’t. Never mind.

Dear Stelly-belle,

We need to have a little chat about something. It has been something that has been on my mind for quite some time now, and with your 18 month birthday quickly approaching, the time has come for me to make yet another decision that will undoubtedly ruin your life forever. [Don’t worry, it won’t be the last.]

It’s about your bottle. It kind of has to go.

Change that. It *really* has to go.

I know you love it. I know it has brought you 17 fun-filled months of joy and pleasure. I know that when you squeal and do that little dance every time you see it you are showing me just how * much* you love it. I know that if it wasn’t for the fact that I– your “first one’s free, kid” pusher — got you hooked on it in the first place by being one of those horrific mothers who didn’t breasfeed you, we would never be in this situation in the first place. Believe me, I know you will blame me, and me alone for the turmoil that is soon to follow. Should Dad get caught in the crossfire of this evil missive I am about to carry out, please don’t blame him entirely — he is acting on strict orders from me. Although I feel compelled to mention that, based on a long and involved conversation last night while laying in bed, he indicated that he is equally concerned about the myriad of negative issues that will arise should we not address this issue tout suite:

Me: “So, we really need to be *done* with this whole bottle thing.”

Your dad: “Yeah.”

So there you have it. Aside from your vote, we have complete household consensus.

I am only telling you this so you won’t be surprised when we launch Phase I of ‘Operation Bye-Bye Ba-Ba’. Being that you only still really have a bottle when sleep is involved it is important that we don’t throw the entire household into some sort of sleepless tailspin — which is where the two-pronged approach comes in. I know it will seem wierd to you to find [ gasp!] water in your bottle, as opposed to milk, but believe me, it is for your own good. Believe me, honey, your Dad and Uncle Thad may have convinced you that Billy Bob teeth are one of the coolest inventions of late, but in real life, they won’t do much for your social life.

Phase two will most definitely be where the true battle of wills begins. Believe me when I tell you this my dear, sweet Stella: I am taking it away because I *love* you. For you. For all of us. For the betterment of society. I can’t tell you exactly when this phase will commence, but I will tell you this:

the ba ba is going bye bye.

Love,
Mama