Category Archives: Porter

as in, Magoo.

Bunk Mates

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After months of threatening, and weeks and weeks of researching, we finally made an impulse decision, and bought the kids a set of bunk beds yesterday. We ultimately came to the realization that they are BUNK BEDS and not a set of heirloom Chippendale end tables, and went with the $299 version we found at a local furniture store. They fit our minimum criteria of solid “not dark” wood and were convertible into separate beds, for that moment when Stella starts complaining that she caught Porter secretly snooping through her text message log and whines about having to share her room with her like totally lame younger brother.

If I would have written this last night I would have expounded about the effortless bedtime ritual. Tonight, on the other hand, required a licensed counselor. Stella missed her old bed. Porter required not one, not two, not, three, but seven or eight bedtime rituals before he was content to voluntarily go down for the night. By the time we were finally able to leave their room without subsequent screaming, it was almost 9:30pm.

Right before Stella went to bed last night I reminded her where the stairs on her new bed were and told her that if she had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and couldn’t find them to just yell for me. I would much rather deal with the inevitable night waking than the middle-of-the-night-sheet-changing. And so, at 4:55am I heard the call, and was (moderately) happy to heed the call. The unfortunate downside to this predicament is that she woke herself up enough to have difficulty getting herself back to sleep. Finally, after three return visits, I insisted she just get into bed with us so that I could get another hour of sleep. Steve was already up and surfing the internet by the time Porter shuffled out of bed, and so I suggested he climb in with Stella and I. That lasted all of about seven and a half seconds before all three of us were up and ready for the day.

I am fully prepared for the fact that for tonight and many nights forward, I will again be summoned as a middle-of-the-night bathroom wingman. It’s not like it is anything new, considering I have to make the usual nocturnal runs for the single purpose of standing sentinel while she attends to her business. This is, obviously, the earliest form of the Female Group Bathroom Run. And I guess all I can say is, “Don’t worry Stel, I got your back.”

Happy Baby Daddy Day

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Today is the day that families around the world are supposed to worship thy father by giving him a day of leisure, pampering him with beer and meat flavored treats, and overall providing him with an opportunity to live life like he did before everything was hijacked by the chaos loving warmth of children. The reality of this holiday has been somewhat skewed by the Hallmark Corporation. Instead, Steve and I have both realized that this is an opportunity to reflect on all the aforementioned items listed. And, it has only taken us 4 years to figure this out.

This being the case, Porter is nursing some strange malady that had him throwing up all afternoon and evening Friday, graduating to some intestinal discomfort yesterday, and today is complaining that his mouth hurts. We are just pumping him full of ibuprofin and parking him in front of an endless stream of Pixar/Disney. Stella is, well, Stella – need I say more? Yes? Perhaps you should spend some time reading THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE. Let’s just say it would have been nice if Steve could have opened just one of his own Father’s Day presents. Just one.

In our eternally evolving parental wisdom, we have figured out that this day of honor and relaxation isn’t a single, pre-determined day, but rather a take-it-when-you-can-get-it hour or two here and there. Which is why I feel supremely proud that yesterday, Steve was able to find a quiet afternoon of tv watching and beer drinking while Stella and I spent the day in town and Porter took an extended nap.

So to my dear husband, all I can say is, you’re welcome, and Happy Father’s Day. Yesterday.

stella, porter and steve

Promises, promises.

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Many of you have expressed frustration at how my site is loading (or not loading) these days. Don’t blame me, blame Twitter. It actually drives me a little bit batty too. Although I love the service and the overall concept, I have found Twitter to be a bit spotty in reliability, which has – in turn – had a direct impact on my site. There are ways I could work around this issue, but due to my negative free time schedule, I have not been able to dedicate the time to making those changes happen. Which brings me back to the real issue: redesign.

In an attempt to actually make this site bend to my will a little bit easier, I have scheduled a sit-down with my husband, who has agreed to be my back end guy. [pause for snickering] This is a dicey proposition – turning over my code, my site, my fastidious control-freak ways to my husband so that I can focus on content, content, oh lovely content. Yes, he is a doorknob toucher, but in a completely different way than I am, and this just might have disaster written all over it. After all, when I took over the financial wrasslin’ in our household it took me the better part of three months to untangle his “system”. I needed nothing short of a decoder ring and a pair of mind-reading goggles. Although I have, technically, been doing web work since the mid-90’s, I have been far removed from the day to day grind of cranking out code. Steve on the other hand, has recently become the de-facto campus webmaster for his school, and is more up-to-speed on the various technical aspects that I need in order to evolve this site to match the pace of my life today. Believe it or not, in October this site will be 4 years old. But, my life was much different then, and considering that as of July 1 I will be reassigned to a new unit with a new time base (read: working more hours), I will be adding yet that much more to my plate. Although there are not a shortage of Walscapades to write about, I have struggled for some time now to properly document them all.

As you have seen, our lives have been fairly consumed with becoming dog owners. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit a certain amount of fatigue from the whole process of adopting Ranger. I don’t regret it, but I will be glad when we can assimilate him into our lives and routines and when I stop having to write multi-hundred dollar checks to the vet. In just the one day he was kept for observation after “the shot”, we all found ourselves missing his presence, and in this way I know we made the right decision adopting him. [I can say with some certainty that our cats would disagree with this assessment.]

One of the things that I have really struggled with lately is my lack of posting about all the great developmental things going on with the kids. I have about a gazillion post-its stuck inside my journal that remind me I haven’t written about how Stella has begun reading, or how Porter’s speech and language has hit full stride, where we are headed with this whole Kindergarten issue, Porter’s obsession with keys, Stella’s obsession with talking too much, what it’s like to watch my kids form an actual relationship with each other, and, of course, how Porter now refuses any and all attempts at a haircut. There are funny stories, and maddening experiences and charming tales that need to find their way on to these pages. And so, I shall not give up my attempts to bring them to you – my loyal readership.