18 years ago Steve & I saw Rent on Broadway in NYC. It was a pretty big deal at the time. Steve was fresh on the job as a teacher, and was lucky enough to chaperone a class trip to Los Angeles to see the first round of touring since it debuted in 1996. He came away from the show inspired by the message, the magic and the realness of it all. Identity. Community. Passion. Integrity. It is a common thread that connects us all. The power of the show, the music, the characters and the message reverberated deeply. He couldn’t wait to share it with me, and (being the hearts and butterflies period of newly minted relationship status) whisked us away to see it on Broadway in NYC.
The current state of the world is something that I am struggling to reconcile. I am not a loudly political person. It’s not in my DNA. Many who know me might raise an eyebrow, because that is not to say that I’m not passionate. I have beliefs. I have opinions. I voice them. I stand by them. That said, I lean more towards representing my values through the way I live my daily life. Openness, kindness, acceptance, tolerance, love. Approaching daily life through openness, not fear; focusing on making decisions that are underscored with compassion and understanding – remembering always that we all have our own set of baggage. I am reflective in the moments that I don’t live up to those values, and humbled by my imperfection. Life is learning and the moment you stop learning you stop living. Becoming a parent has become one giant red underline to that imperfection and the importance of reflection and growth.
As a parent, I am also watching our current world of this through our children’s eyes. Our kids are smart, they are aware, they are connected. They see and hear everything. To dismiss, deny or diminish that the world has entered a time of great discontent benefits no one. It is imperative to keep the dialogue open. To help us process this together, because all of us are feeling the same uncertainty and instability. We are all feeling fear. As the adults, 30+ years their senior, we have a bit more perspective to stabilize the conversation and counterbalance the media influence of shocking headlines. But it is also a difficult balance to strike, because much of what is being said in those headlines is real. We can’t diminish that either.
We missed the Women’s March in Eureka. And for that I am very regretful. Marching in a political protest is, well, about as far from my comfort zone as you can get. Although I knew many people who flew all the way to DC to attend the national protest, I wildly misjudged the gravity of this event, and as Stella started asking me if she could go, I ended up reducing it to a logistical discussion of pick-up and drop-off, instead of sitting down with her – making a sign and joining the THOUSANDS of women and men who showed up on the Eureka waterfront to peacefully mobilize and make their voices heard. I continue to watch and digest the impact of that Saturday in January and the days – and protests – that have followed, and am seeing these protests through a new lens. The growing solidarity of people realizing that each day is bringing new, jaw-dropping news requires us to move out of our comfort zones to stand up to mobilize against the awful and frightening decisions that are happening on a daily basis.
Last summer I was having dinner with a close friend of mine and we got on the subject of activism. As I argued my case, she bluntly pointed out that I had the comfort and luxury of not needing to be an activist. Nothing about my life is oppressed or threatened. White. Middle Class. Heterosexual. Surrounded by people of the same political bubble. What about the huge population of people whose daily lives are interwoven with a nagging fear not just because someone disagrees with who they are or what they represent, but hates them because of it – and would harm them for it? Their entire life lived where complete strangers would say something awful or would do something harmful to them because of who they love, the color of their skin, where they are from, what they are wearing. And, she pointed out, you don’t have to be radical feminist to logically understand that women are part of that group. It is the job of all of us to stand up for people’s human rights to be accepted, loved and understood. It is a discussion that has bubbled below the surface for me ever since.
I’d love to end this story telling of our great action plan – what Steve and I and the kids will be doing to use our stable and protected status to help protect our way of life as a loving and accepting society. I know we can donate, I know we can call our congressional representatives, I will stay focused to figure out what other opportunities lie ahead – and support and encourage our kids to use their voices to stand up for what they believe in.
Last night we took Stella and Porter to see the 20th Anniversary of Rent. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Kindness. Compassion. Passion. Inclusion. Love. Glad to have this opportunity to reinforce the message when we need it most.
