Recently there have been a handful of the various bloggers I follow that have been prompted to write a letter to their 20-year-old self. I love this idea. However, when I think about writing a letter to
As I thought more about this letter-to-self-idea, I realized that there is a much better letter I have to write: the one to my Newly Married Self. Part of the reason for this is that as of today, I am now 10 years married. This is somewhat of a landmark occasion because I find myself proud that I can say that I have done anything for 10 years. I was a vegetarian for 8 long painful bacon-less years, my longest relationship (before this one) lasted no more than 5 years, my oldest child is just now 6 1/2 years, I haven’t owned a car more than 10 years, hell, I guess this marriage thing is the longest I have lasted at just about anything. Add to this combo that I have – on and off – known my husband for 24 years, this is somewhat monumental.
So, without further fanfare, here it goes.
Dear Newly Married Natalie,
Firstly, congratulations! You planned yourself a lovely and yet tastefully casual wedding. Wise choice on the oysters, they were a smashing hit. You would have been way better off to go with the live band, but alas, everyone loved the group-funded-disco-money-dance. And now with that out of the way, on to the rest of your life.
This decision you made about quitting your lucrative job to head back to finish up your degree will be worth it. Trust me. I know giving up that mac-daddy house with the view of the bay and hosting the weekly Friday-night happy hour gathering spot is pretty much excruciating – and to be perfectly honest, it will be for a while. Be prepared for a major life shift. This is one of those decisions that will be painful for a while, but eventually will make sense in the big picture.
Now that you have thrown yourself back into school, I know you are feeling stressed about that whole Grad School thing. Don’t. You have way bigger fish to fry my friend. Corporate life may seem enchanting, but you need to understand that being a 27-year-old re-entry student complicates issues a bit.
I know that kids are the last thing you are thinking about right now, but I need to be straight with you on this one: kids are in your future. I won’t give away the details, but oh my god sister, don’t go into this lightly. This is going to be a defining issue in your life in more ways than you could ever imagine. I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH.
Although you and Steve have been together for over 3 years, you are embarking on a journey of uncharted territory. But know this: you have picked the right man. He is smart. He is kind. He unconditionally loves you and isn’t afraid to let you know. He is not perfect. Neither are you. And it is this last part that is going to make things hard. Very hard, sometimes. But you have found someone who is willing, and able, if not always capable – ironically, the same as he has found in you. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you both are broken, but committed. Some refer to this phenomenon as Soulmates.
As 10-year married Natalie, I can tell you this: when they say marriage is work, it is not a dorky cliche. It really is. And the best thing you can have on your side is someone who is committed to being
Okay, okay, here’s just one picture. But don’t tell anyone. And don’t worry, he’ll hack off this hillbilly beard soon.
With Love and Encouragement,
Your 10-Year-Married-Self