Last Wednesday was Steve and I’s 9th wedding anniversary. And, being that we met in August of 1987, that brings our sum total of knowing each other up to a whopping 22 years. Twenty. Two. Years. I find it disturbing that I can say that I have done anything for 22 years. There was a time when just being 22 was big. Steve didn’t really help when he clarified that – technically – we could have a child in college right now. Technically, I should have punched him.

Which brings me back to us. To us. To our daily ritual of life, and how those rituals and routines create the kind of comfort and repetition that make up our lives together. Things have certainly gotten more complicated and distracting and some of those routines are not exactly, um, how shall I say this – productive routines, but the way I see it, that is what an anniversary is for. It is not just a point of celebration, but a point of reflection. A New Year’s Resolution time for the relationship. As it turns out, this entire year has actually kind of been like that for us.

The giant distractionater known as kids&jobs&house&breathing all consume what might otherwise be spent focusing our attentions on forming some productive relationship rituals. And as we have cycled up and down and sideways (and sometimes even backwards), we have been reminded of the importance of re-engaging ourselves with one another as not-parent, not-homeowner, not-employee people – but instead as husband and wife, and more importantly, as friends.

And all that blah, blah, blah is just my way of saying that this year, our anniversary wasn’t a trip or a big expensive gift to one another, but instead, a giant post-it note taped to each of our foreheads to remind ourselves to pay attention more. We went to a movie. We cooked. We invited our friends over. We indulged in a fancy new bottle of tequila. More importantly, we promised to remind each other to do all of it more. And not just for each other, but for ourselves.

So, cheers. To us. To 9 years. To 22 years. And more importantly, to not having a child in college…yet.