When it comes to dealing with my children’s growing stockpile of cacophonous debris, my best strategy has been to covertly stow it all away in a location both out of reach and out of sight. The top secret location being a small, inconspicuous drawer in the old computer armoire. They’d set it down, I’d covertly slip it into the drawer. And, up until two weeks ago it was a perfect system.
What happened two weeks ago? Stella found the drawer.
Out of nowhere I hear the following words: “Mom!Mom!Mom! Look what I found. I LOVE these things! Mom! Look! Isn’t this great?!?!”
Entering the living room, I see her standing on Porter’s rocking horse, peering into the drawer.
Yes. Great, Stella.
What exactly did she find? The inventory included 2 recorders, a card that plays The Monster Mash every time you open it, a card that plays DA-DE-DA-DA-DA-DOH-DOH-DA-DE-DA-DOH-DOH-DOOOOOOOHHHHHH in a high pitched chipmunk voice every time you open it, a bag of balloons, 4 super balls and a bunch of those little sticky hand things that Stella always gets stuck in her hair and Porter always tries to eat.
As you might expect, it ALL came out; the sticky, the noisy, the annoying. It took me the better part of a week, but I managed to redistribute all of the items to a new location of safe keeping. A location that will never be revealed to the likes of you, those who would otherwise betray me. Those who think it’s cute, and harmless, and indulgent. THOSE WHO THOUGHT IT CLEVER TO GIVE THEM THAT STUFF IN THE FIRST PLACE.
The only downside is that my newest covert hiding place is not large enough to hide the two new dancing, singing stuffed animals that were received for Easter. The dancing singing stuffed animals that have been allowed to go to school with Stella every day this week in hopes that they would be forgotten, lost, broken, confiscated or dismantled. And yet, as a clear indicator of how I am now being punished for the nasty deeds of my adolescence, they have come home in perfect singing and dancing condition each and every day.
Surely you don’t mean to imply that the Easter duck who sings “Splish Splash” falls into the category of “cacophonous debris”, do you?
You know we had a rule once… “All toys that make noise stay at Grandma’s house”. It was a nice thought but the grandmas and grandpa are just evil. They can sense (even from several hundred miles away) when one of those nasty little gems has somehow met it’s demise and unleash another that multiplies the annoyance factor ten fold.