Witness Exhibit A:

I’d like you to draw your eye, specifically, to one sage green overall dress (“the dress”) that has been in said subject’s closet for close to 6 months now; unworn, unseen, unloved.

Now, may I present Exhibit B:

I invite you to pay special attention to the location of the pockets of “the dress” (approaching the middle of the back), indicating the notable size incongruity between “the dress” and the person on whose body it currently resides.

May I present to the jury that on roughly 6,457 occasions over the past 6 months, it has been suggested that the subject wear “the dress”, to which, the response has consistently and resoundingly been “NOOOOOOOO!” May it also be stated that this may be the only child on the planet who, with some regularity, has to be bribed with coins to wear various pieces of her own clothing.

May I present to the jury that on this, the 20th day in the 12th month of the year 2006, said subject INSISTED that she wear “the dress” regardless of the fact that it was indicated that it’s size was no longer adequate, and the side fastening devices could not be adequately secured. And, let it further be stated that, much to parental dismay, “the dress” was worn to school.

I ask the jury to overlook the subject’s doe eyes and bubbly personality, and find her guilty of being three.