Okay, so I haven’t posted in almost a week, and nor have I put up any new photos. I can feel your groans of disappointment each time you check. Really, come to think of it, there are quite a few things I haven’t done over the last week or so. So, don’t feel like I am singling all of you out. I haven’t prepared a meal (except the ones that can be made with one hand), haven’t been able to go to the bathroom without a strategic plan, haven’t gotten a single stretch of sleep exceeding 3 hours at one shot, haven’t truly come to grips with the fact that, as of tomorrow, Stella’s day care is closed until the end of NEXT WEEK!

I guess when it comes down to it, things aren’t AS crazy the second time around, but they ARE still crazy. As a sick lesson in hubris, I was recently arrogant enough to make some flippant comments about how already going through this once should make this time a lot less neurotic of an experience. Opening my big mouth was my first mistake. Underestimating the effects of sleep deprivation was my second. Not accounting for the effects of the Stella multiplier was my third.

Luckily for us, Porter is a pretty darn good baby. He’s not fussy or a big crier, he is a good eater (now weighing in at 11 lbs 14 oz) and he has been amazingly tolerant of all the noise generated by a certain sibling of his. Yes, it would be lovely to see him graduate on to some longer nightime stretches of sleep, but I don’t really think it’s fair to expect him to be a super-sleeper yet. The kid is barely 3-weeks old. However, the fact that he has minimalized his difficult-ness to some minor sleep issues is, without a doubt, what has saved us from completely going over the edge.

I’d say one of the hardest parts right now is prioritizing: What is the best use of this 4 minutes I actually have to myself? Should I eat? Go to the bathroom? Try to squeeze in a shower? How about that stack of work waiting for me? Or perhaps I should just try putting on something other than sweat pants? Things that quickly fall to the bottom of the list are catching up on sleep, blogging and reading (I now have 2 issues of Vanity Fair, and Eating Well and a Gourmet that I have yet to even open).

As for Stella, well she has been really good in some ways and really not so good in others. It is sometimes hard to discern what is Stella being Stella and what is Stella responding to not being the constant center of attention anymore. Some of the stuff she has been pulling lately is text-book 2-year-old behavior – like when you tell her not to do something and she looks you square in the eye and does it anyway. Other behaviors tend to lean a little more towards the I’ll-get-attention-any-way-I-can approach. Either way, we are forced to put on our game face in the parenting department. What worked pre-Porter does not even come close to working now. Her ability to respond to logic or reason has completely disappeared and now when we ask her WHY? WHY? STELLA, OH WHY? her responses are things like “because it’s not the right thing to do” or “because it’s bad.” Lovely.

I know families do this all the time, with far more children than I have and far less participative husbands. I just need to adapt a system that works – something that allows us some sanity amid the litany of chaotic episodes that make up our lives right now. I will not be able to change the lack of sleep, or the screaming toddler who insists on waiting until the last possible moment to use the bathroom, or the fact that our lives consist of one, long never-ending day where one night bleeds into the next morning with no real end or beginning. And because I am producing breastmilk I will have to do it without alcohol. Dammit.