Okay, so I have started writing – literally – over a dozen posts throughout the course of the last week, and ended up having to abort each one for various reasons – usually to stop Stella from doing something annoying and/or dangerous. I tried writing something on Porter’s 1 month birthday, but got stuck moderating an altercation between Stella and the cat – again. I tried writing something about my inagural outings with TWO children, but had to stop in order to keep Stella from crushing her newborn brother. I tried writing about my week alone with both of my children, but had to stop and count to 10 so I wouldn’t murder Stella for ignoring my repeated pleas to cease rocking the rocking chair so violently that it would put holes in the wall. Then there was the episode where she tried to burn the house down. Yes, really. (more on this later) And, there are the many posts that have just plain gone by the wayside because I never even got to begin them, and I couldn’t remember them now if I tried. And there is the post that I started a month ago that I have refused to give up on, no matter how many interruptions I get…someday you will get to read it, I promise.

I am not even mentioning the numerous times that I have had to stop because as soon as I sat down and got about 4 words written, Porter decided that a 12 minute nap was juuuuusssst right, thank you very much.

I have made absolutely no secret of the fact that full-time, stay-at-home mothers are an admirable group – and one that I am just fine not being a member of. Getting to straddle the divide between being gainfully employed, and being a mother is an opportunity in which I find great value. Whether anyone else believes it or not, I think it actually makes me a better Mom. If there is anything I have learned this week is that periodically removing one’s self from a given physical environment is key to maintaining sanity. Some other wisdom gained from this week’s adventure has been: 1) that no matter what I write in these pages, the thought of having to be home alone, all day, everyday with both of my children was far worse than the reality, 2.) Never – I mean NEVER – underestimate how much damage a two-year-old can do when your back is turned, and 3.) if it weren’t for Dore, there is a good chance that by this time I would have found myself in either handcuffs or a straight-jacket.

If I were to pick one moment from this week that shines above all the rest it would be when I came home from taking both kids out on a field-trip and noticed that the hot water heater blazing as though someone had just taken a 3-hour shower. The hot water heater is just not something I ever pay attention to (that is my OCD husband’s job), so the fact that I noticed anything at all was noteworthy unto itself. Of course, the idea of having to assess the mechanical function of a hot water heater is about as appealing as having to lift the hood of my car and figure out, well, anything. I couldn’t have less of a clue. As I surveyed the situation though I did notice that the little dial on the front of the heater was set to ‘VERY HOT’. Not knowing if this was the intended setting, I started tinkering with the dial until I, at least, got the thing to shut off. I left it at this and just figured I’d let Steve deal with it when he got home.

As the whole situation was unfolding, my brain was recalling an episode from earlier in the morning, when I had made Stella pick up all the magnets that she had removed from the side of the dryer. And when I say ‘removed’ I mean swept to the floor in a fit of rage. For any of you who are not aware of the layout of our laundry room, the dryer sits directly next to the hot water heater, and the dial of which I have spoken is at the eye level of, oh say, your average 2-year-old. It didn’t take me long to piece together the events that had most likely taken place. Basically, the hot water heater had been set to flamethrower and left to boil for the better part of 4 hours. Steve pointed out that had the overflow valve not been working properly, there were about a million different circumstances under which we would have had to initiate our homeowners policy. Oh, and Stella: we will be levying charges against your college fund to offset this month’s PG&E bill.

So in a nutshell, that is my week. My week as a stay-at-home, full-time, single parent. And did I mention that the whole week was punctuated by the fact that as a campus club advisor, Steve had to be present for the full 24 hours of the Youth Relay for Life event (from 5:00pm on Friday until 5:00pm on Saturday), then work prom duty Saturday night? No? How about the fact that Porter finally succumbed to his first cold?

To every stay-at-home mother out there: I salute you.