Steve came across a back-up disc from our old computer and Mom, Steve and I ended up going through old photos and random goofy documents. This was life just a few short years ago, but it seems like a lifetime has passed. One of the better bonding moments occurred when the three of us stumbled across a photo of Steve’s bare butt. Steve said I could post it, but only if I photoshopped in a really cool “ass-tat”…specifically, “like a big Mom-heart, but definitely no butterflies or dolphins.” I’ll see what I can do.

In 1999 we organized a trip to San Juan Island (Washington) for ourselves and 7 of our close family and friends. The following is an excerpt from the entertainment program that we included in the informational email we sent to everyone. I think it is safe to say that it’s a good thing that on career day we were never steered towards the cruise ship and/or hospitality service industry table.

Entertainment Program:

We worked long and hard putting together a program that we thought would best benefit everyone. It was also quite an undertaking making sure we capitalized on everyone’s individual talent and natural abilities to create an effective line-up chock full of fun frivolity and the unabashed hilarity that this group is known for.

Sunday:
Dani: The charismatic presence that Dani brings to any gathering must not be overlooked. It is for this reason (and because of her innate skill of belching on command) that we felt that it would be an outright tragedy not to feature her as our opening act. With that in mind we have decided to appoint Dani to the job of emcee for the entire week’s entertainment. Sunday she will open the week’s line-up with her one-woman show “One Lunch Does Not a Taco Make” then regale us with fun and frivolity as she ushers in each night’s act.

Monday:
Andy: You have heard of the Yo-Man, and you have heard of Cajun-Man, but have you heard of Haiku-Man? This little known aspect of Andy’s secret passions will be shared with you as he reads from his first book of published works, titled This book is Haiku – See it is easy to do – Shoo-be-do-be-do “Most people don’t understand how easy this shit is. All you have to do is count syllables – it doesn’t matter what you say or if it rhymes, which is where I think my talent comes in. You see, I not only can match the syllable pattern, but I make it rhyme too.” – quote from Andy in the New York Times Book Review.

Tuesday:
Celene & Thad: The Amazing Thadini and his lovely assistant Celenini will keep you on the edge of your seat as they perform your favorite old classics such as The Disappearing Loud-Mouthed, Opinionated Anderson Daughters (one of Andy’s all time favorites) and Pull a Wine Bottle out of my Hat to his newest foray into Hypnosis wherein he will have Brad spouting the wonderful leadership skills and exemplary personal constitution of President Clinton.

Wednesday:
Brad: It’s the show we have all been waiting for. Brad has agreed to allow us the opportunity to experience his hit “Marilyn Revue” wherein he performs his forever memorable number “Happy Birthday Mister President” adorned in his authentic replica gown mirroring the one worn by Marilyn on that infamous night. This is a ‘don’t miss’ night!

Thursday:
Gail & Annie: There was no question in our minds who would be the stars of our “Wet and Wild” night. Coming straight off their Hawaiian Tropics Wet T-Shirt tour Gail and Annie are the perfect contestants to host our night of fun, frolicking and debauchery. Have your hoses and water pitchers ready – as these girls really know how it’s done!

Friday:
Natalie: “Sultry…Sexy…Soulful,” raved Rolling Stone about Natalie’s latest vocal masterpiece. Never before has yodeling been brought to this level. Hearing protection will be available as Ms. Anderson belts out the favorites: “Oh where oh where has my mountain goat gone?”, the classic “Saint Bernards make good lovers” and “That’s no poodle, that’s my strudel.” Watch in amazement as Natalie whips out her Alpenhorn and plays R&B classics in her sexy Lederhosen. The consummate showperson, she’ll slow the mood down. With lights dimmed, join in for an acoustic version of Cumbaya sung in a round in her native tongue. Revving up for the finale, Natalie’s costume will be a showstopper. We can’t reveal the surprise, but in the words of Playboy, “…check out those Matterhorn’s!”

Saturday:
Steve: As many of you may or may not know, Steve has a long history in the theatrical presentation style of interpretive dance. As a tribute to our stay in the Whale Watch Hideaway wherein we are poised to see some of the most grand creatures of our animal kingdom – Orca whales and Bald Eagles, Steve will present us all with his dance “Soaring blubber: Journey to Nirvana.” Steve will be accompanied by a member of the local Imaheehaw tribe who will be playing one of the few remaining Orca bladder drums. It will be a night of tights, thumping, prancing and social commentary – you won’t want to miss this show.