Had a conversation with Stella lately? No? Unless you have a copy of the Super Secret Stella Decoder Book, you might want to rethink it. A conversation can go from zero to “Huh?” in about 2.2 seconds if you haven’t yet studied up the chapters titled ‘Older-and-Older,’ ‘Get it at Target,’ ‘Come on, be sad with me,’ or the more lengthy chapters of ‘Whyyyyyy?’ and ‘The Downsides of Soliciting Input From a 2-year-old’ Other chapters in the early stages of development are tentatively titled ‘Be careful what you suggest,’ ‘Get your finger out of your nose’ and ‘Frankly Stella, it’s about your hair.’

With her verbal skills progressing at a rapid pace, it is about all we can do to keep up with Stella’s interpretation of the events that make up her life. It is like a person who has all the pieces of a puzzle but isn’t exactly sure how they all fit together. And in Stella’s case, she has a pair of scissors and is not afraid to use them.

Lately, she has determined that most things are best found at Target. Last week when I was telling her that we need to get her some good everyday barrets that will actually stay in her hair she quickly piped up that we should get them at Target. [NOTE: this is NOT a call out to all grandmothers to race out and buy barrets.] When she recently requested white juice, and I informed her that we don’t have white juice (what the heck is white juice?), we only have berry juice she suggested that we just get our booties on down to Target and load ‘er up. I really do think that she has somehow gotten the impression that everything in her life was somehow ascertained at Target, and it is for this reason that I know it is only a matter of time before she will suggest that we go pick up her new baby sister or brother at Target.

Speaking of the new Walston unit, when I pressed her on the issue of what we should name her new baby sister or brother she emphatically put her bid on the table: Golly-Golly-Ga. I am all about making Stella part of this new process, but I think I am starting to realize why most parents do a dry run with a pet or two before handing over such a monumental task. I don’t dare ask if this is a first and middle name all rolled into one, or if this is simply a first name. I am at a total loss as to what would be just the perfect name to provide a good flow to Golly-Golly-Ga Walston. And to be honest, I am a little afraid to ask.

Stella recently has begun making proclomations about what she will do when she gets ‘older and older’. Most, although comical to hear her proclaim, follow a certain amount of logic. There are others that take some serious interpretation. According to her, when she gets older and older she will drink wine and beer, have a baby, drive a car, eat spicy food, go to work, be a big sister, the list goes on and on. These interchanges usually take place on those rare occasions where we are able to tap into that deep, deep, DEEP well of logic buried inside her brain and inform her that no, unfortunately, she cannot drill holes in the window moulding and she, in her ultimate wisdom, decides that she can live with that knowing that when she gets older and older she will drill as many damn holes as she wants. It is a fairly liberating experience to know that we have finally reached a point where telling her no doesn’t necessarily guarantee that she will melt down into an emotional pile of goo. I get giddy just thinking about it.

And if you are wondering about the chapter titled ‘Come On Be Sad With Me,’ it is a new game we play (entirely created by Stella, natch). The rules are simple: Stella makes a sad face then instructs you to “Come on, be sad wit me.” You respond by making a sad face. Stella comes over and gives you a big hug and tells you she loves you. It is my favorite game. Ever.

…and will probably be on sale at Target before the end of the year.