Date: September 09, 2005

To: Stella

From: Toddler Headquarters

Re: Revised Napping Schedule

It is being suggested that any interested toddlers at or around the age of 21 months cease all scheduled napping. You are encouraged to pursue any methods that you find effective. If you find yourself at a loss for ways to successfully thwart napping attempts, the following list of suggested activities may prove useful:

• Kick the wall incessantly as though you were trying to tunnel out through the side of the house.
• Get up and walk into the hall, be sure to have some sort of prop in your hand to use as a tool of distraction.
• Play in your room for an extended period of time in an attempt to make it seem as though you are actually sleeping, then emerge from your room saying “woke up!”
• Run from your room yelling “Poopie, Mommy! Poopie!” (whether it is true or not).
• Cry.

Feel free to utilize these or any other tactics you can come up with on your own.

Although it is expected that you will eventually succumb to exhaustion, be sure to drag the process out as long as possible. The whole point is to make sure that the parental unit in charge is not able to accomplish A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G productive throughout the afternoon. This is your goal.

You should continue on this schedule as long as you are able.