Just as much as they don’t prepare you for how UN-magical a newborn can be, they also don’t prepare you for how TOTALLY AWESOME a toddler can be. “They” being all those sappy-licious parenting books that always look at the brighter side. Those books that need to come with a warning that says: “Beware. The person who wrote this book was high on hormones and may not always portray an accurate depiction of pregnancy, parenting or the miracle of birth.”

As a parent, your sense of the well-being of others becomes freakishly heightened whenever you are about to put yourself and your child into or near a physical space shared with another human. So you can imagine the outright panic that set in when Dore offered to suffer the slings and arrows of a road trip down to the valley with Stella and I. It was hard to discern whether this was the selfless act of a true friend or just plain old-fashioned stupidity. I mean come on – 10 hours EACH WAY, the death heat of the valley, sleeping in a trailor on the back 40 – who would willingly volunteer for this? This trip had merit badge written all over it.

The whole purpose of the trip was for us to make the rounds through Phyllis’s house in preparation for the estate sale. It is a strange and invasive process – going through someone else’s possessions. You feel like an intruder and wish that each and every item in the house had been designated to someone specific. Instead we had to play this uncomfortable guessing game of “Do you want this? No? Do you mind if I take it?” You feel like you are one step away from being a looter.

I did get the fortunate opportunity to go through years worth of photos of Phyllis, her sisters and their circle of friends. They were all so close with one another, and there were photos of the four sisters together all the way through until the ends of their lives. You could almost hear the laughter as they goofed around in the kitchen making Christmas dinner, modeled their new bathing suit, or sat on the back patio drinking cocktails. You got the very real sense that it was a time when life was good, and I am so glad I got the opportunity to have a front row seat.

When we weren’t busy at Phyllis’s house, we were tolerating moderate heat (miraculously, it was in the low to mid 90s) and watching Stella run non-stop. The Anderson Compound provides a lot of roaming room and plenty of things to check out. As per usual, she is drawn to fountains as if there is a secret voice calling to her, “come, dip your sleeves in me, ignore all arguments otherwise.” It is, undoubtedly, the same voice that tells her to loiter suspiciously around the toilet.

This was the first actual travel experience since transitioning to the big-girl bed and as such, we weren’t sure how to best anticipate the sleeping arrangements. I took the pack ‘n play just in case, but figured I would let her sleep with me.

Night 1:
Stella kidney kicks Natalie every 30-40 minutes and insists upon sleeping perpendicular to Natalie the entire night.
Night 2:
Stella is banished to the pack ‘n play and wakes regularly at 30 minute intervals until Natalie moves her back into bed with her; Stella kicks Natalie every 30-40 minutes and insists upon sleeping perpendicular to Natalie remainder of the night
Night 3:
Stella sleeps on the floor, stirring only once, but wakes up with her body a full 180 degrees opposite her initial sleeping position
Night 4:
Stella sleeps over at Grammy Judy and Grandpa Bill’s – for all Natalie cares, she slept on the ceiling.
Night 5:
See Night 3

Sleeping issues aside, Stella was downright Stellarific. She transitioned from location to location without even a whimper, she was cute, charming and ever so patient during the endless days in the car. She was able to charm everyone with her unique renditions of Rock-a-Bye-Baby, Happy Birthday, Twinkle-Twinkle and 5 Little Monkeys, often creating new and catchy medleys such as, “Wock a Bee Bee, Twee Top, Happy Booday to Woo!” One of the more memorable moments came when I asked her,”Can I have a kiss, Stella?” and she responded, “How ’bout tongue, Mama?” [Indicating I should kiss her on the tongue.] Classic.

From all reports, her two days with Judy and Bill were equally pleasurable. Judy got to play show-and-tell with Stella at two separate schools, where Stella even got to play at Kindergarten recess. (When you are a pint-sized giant you can get away with such things.) They survived a trip to the grocery store where Stella got her very own cart and, as Bill put it, she was a much better at the shopping part than at the steering part. And miracle of all miracles, they left the store with only ONE must-have item that wasn’t on the original grocery list.

It was a fairly uneventful drive home, aside from the one cheese incident wherein she mistook it for playdough and managed to work it skillfully into the plastic mechanism that fastens her seatbelt. New rule: cheese is no longer an unsupervised food.

Note to Dore: You certificate of completion is in the mail.