Upon arriving home, we stumbled back into a life fully underway – soccer season was no exception. Having already missed a handful of practices and the 1st game, we showed up at practice not exactly sure what to expect. This season, as it turns out, the coach is an old college-mate of Steve’s and he and the rest of the girls were welcoming and ready to bring Stella into the fold.

This year, she was finally able to move up to the next age bracket, and the girls (no more co-ed) are bigger and seem more ready to get to business playing some soccer. It’s still swarm-ball type soccer, but there is certainly some actual ability beginning to peek through. Some of these girls are showing serious promise.

I have been unable to figure out, however, why they all run with their tongue out?

(click photo to see the entire set)

We are now the proud owner of a 2nd grader. Our model happens to come complete with the Virtual Teenager Upgrade, as witnessed by the conversation held after her first day:

Me: “Soooooo, how was your first day?”
Her: “OMYGOD, Ruby had this TOTALLY cute shirt on.”
Me: “Wow. So how did you like your teacher?”
Her: “It had a heart on it like right here on the shoulder and then this happy face and it was all plaid and-”
Me: “Um, so who is in your class with you?”
Her: “What’s for snack?”
Me: “Good talk, Stel. Good talk.”

Two weeks ago yesterday, I received a phone call that changed our lives forever. Standing in the middle of campus on my cell phone, I listened as Steve blurted out the crackly details: Fell. Shop. Scott. Forehead. Coma. Air-lifted. These words came at me in rapid fire succession. My only response was to shout back clarification:

“Are you talking about Scott?”
“Yes.”
“Is he okay?”
“No.”

I sprinted across campus to my office, blurted out a tearful explanation to my coworkers, packed up and headed home. From there, we gathered a couple changes of clothes, grabbed the kids and headed straight for the hospital, 9 long hours away.

As it turned out, Scott was far from okay. He had suffered what we would come to find out was a devastating brain injury, and we would spend the rest of the week realizing the true extent of what that term – devastating – meant: On Sunday, shortly after 10:15am, Scott passed away.

Throughout the course of those 5 long days, and into the week that followed, we were given a glimpse into Scott’s life that will forever bring us peace and comfort. Far from the oft-painted portrait of a work-focused loner, we stood witness to the countless stories of a guy who was a friend, a mentor, a confidant – someone who consistently managed to help people laugh, learn and grow. I will never in my lifetime forget watching his crew come into the hospital that last Friday night to say their good-bye, hearing their stories as they sat, swollen-eyed and stunned telling tales of how this perfectionist of a boss left such a deep imprint on who they were and who they had become as men. It was truly heartbreaking.

Within all the grief and confusion and unanswered questions, one of the aspects of Scott’s death in which I find the most sadness is the seemingly vast loss of potential. The loss of opportunity for our kids to get to build that relationship with him – to grow up in the shadow of all those great qualities. The loss of chances for him to have finally found that balance he needed between work, and friends, and family. The loss of all that could have been.

We will miss you so much, Scott. But you’ll be in our hearts forever.

William Scott Walston, age 44, passed away in Fresno, California, on August 22, 2010 due to an industrial accident. Scott was born April 22, 1966 in Fresno to Bill and Judy Walston. He was raised in the Ivanhoe-Visalia area, was a 1984 graduate of Golden West High School and earned a Bachelor’s degree from Whittier College in 1988. Over the years Scott worked in food production plants, such as Eagle Snacks, Stella Cheese, and Haagen-Dazs. Since 2007, he has been owner of Scott Walston Construction. In addition, he enjoyed reading, gardening, cooking, skiing, telling stories and spending time with his niece and nephew. In addition to his parents, Scott is lovingly survived by his brother, Stephen Walston, sister-in-law, Natalie, niece, Stella, and nephew, Porter, all of Eureka, California. He is also survived by his aunts and uncles, Wanda Ginner of Portola Valley, Ginny Massey of Tulelake, Stephen and Janet Bly of Winchester, Idaho, plus numerous cousins. An open Memorial Service will be Friday, August 27, 2010, at 3:00 p.m., at the Woodlake Presbyterian Church. For those who desire, the family suggests donations be made in his memory to your favorite charity or to the American Cancer Society . Graveside services will be private with interment at the Woodlake Cemetery. Arrangements by Miller Memorial Chapel, Visalia, CA.

Recently there have been a handful of the various bloggers I follow that have been prompted to write a letter to their 20-year-old self. I love this idea. However, when I think about writing a letter to my 20-year-old self the only message I can think of is: “um, good luck.” My 20s were, quite possibly, more fraught with regrettable moments than my teen years. Yes, really.

As I thought more about this letter-to-self-idea, I realized that there is a much better letter I have to write: the one to my Newly Married Self. Part of the reason for this is that as of today, I am now 10 years married. This is somewhat of a landmark occasion because I find myself proud that I can say that I have done anything for 10 years. I was a vegetarian for 8 long painful bacon-less years, my longest relationship (before this one) lasted no more than 5 years, my oldest child is just now 6 1/2 years, I haven’t owned a car more than 10 years, hell, I guess this marriage thing is the longest I have lasted at just about anything. Add to this combo that I have – on and off – known my husband for 24 years, this is somewhat monumental.

So, without further fanfare, here it goes.

Dear Newly Married Natalie,

Firstly, congratulations! You planned yourself a lovely and yet tastefully casual wedding. Wise choice on the oysters, they were a smashing hit. You would have been way better off to go with the live band, but alas, everyone loved the group-funded-disco-money-dance. And now with that out of the way, on to the rest of your life.

This decision you made about quitting your lucrative job to head back to finish up your degree will be worth it. Trust me. I know giving up that mac-daddy house with the view of the bay and hosting the weekly Friday-night happy hour gathering spot is pretty much excruciating – and to be perfectly honest, it will be for a while. Be prepared for a major life shift. This is one of those decisions that will be painful for a while, but eventually will make sense in the big picture.

Now that you have thrown yourself back into school, I know you are feeling stressed about that whole Grad School thing. Don’t. You have way bigger fish to fry my friend. Corporate life may seem enchanting, but you need to understand that being a 27-year-old re-entry student complicates issues a bit.

I know that kids are the last thing you are thinking about right now, but I need to be straight with you on this one: kids are in your future. I won’t give away the details, but oh my god sister, don’t go into this lightly. This is going to be a defining issue in your life in more ways than you could ever imagine. I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

Although you and Steve have been together for over 3 years, you are embarking on a journey of uncharted territory. But know this: you have picked the right man. He is smart. He is kind. He unconditionally loves you and isn’t afraid to let you know. He is not perfect. Neither are you. And it is this last part that is going to make things hard. Very hard, sometimes. But you have found someone who is willing, and able, if not always capable – ironically, the same as he has found in you. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you both are broken, but committed. Some refer to this phenomenon as Soulmates.

As 10-year married Natalie, I can tell you this: when they say marriage is work, it is not a dorky cliche. It really is. And the best thing you can have on your side is someone who is committed to being by your side. And you, Natalie, have found that person. So work a little harder at not being such a hard-ass. Believe me, it will be worth it.

Okay, okay, here’s just one picture. But don’t tell anyone. And don’t worry, he’ll hack off this hillbilly beard soon.

With Love and Encouragement,
Your 10-Year-Married-Self