Dear Sweet-Child-Who-Is-Still-In-My-Womb-8-Days-After-Its-Official-Due-Date, Firstly, I don’t blame you. I blame my body and its inability to realize that preganacy actually has an end point. It did the same thing with your sister who, after 42 weeks and one day finally granted her release from the warm confines of my uterus (but not without some hormonal enticement). [...]
Today officially began the first day of my maternity leave. I am now 3 days overdue with no clear end in sight. Not exactly shocking information. I am facing the realization that this child, much like Stella, will have to be forced from my womb at gunpoint. My mother (1/2 of the Walston labor coaching [...]
With rare exception, my daily diet includes every item on this list. Oranges: Satsumas, Cara Caras, Ivanhoe Navels (breakfast, snacks) Apples: Pink Ladies (lunchtime, with peanut butter) Peanut Butter: Safeway Organic (breakfast, as sandwich) Hot Dogs: Beeler’s All Natural (uncured) Pork Hot Dogs (lunch, without bun, with lots of mustard) Sparkling Mineral Water: Crystal Geyser [...]
If I stand too long my feet swell. If I sit too long then try to stand up, my pelvis feels like it will explode. What’s a girl to do? Eat some Thin Mints and take a nap.
Official technical obstetric evaluation: Pregnancy is now considered full term. Size: Officially reached the point where NO ONE questions whether or not I am pregnant. Appetite: Have now officially lost all ability to curb sugar intake – if it is within a 50 foot radius I will sniff it out and consume it; find myself [...]