Stella has about 5 teeth at varying stages of looseness. This front one kind of twisted its way out; at one point it was practically at a 90 degree angle to the rest of her teeth. Likewise, the others are moving around in such a way as to create strange gaps and craters. Every time I look at her I end up having to do a double-take, and can’t help but wonder what her new smile will look like. Whatever the case, she stands to make a tidy profit on the whole affair.

PS: If you are wondering about that curious black blob on her right cheek you should probably ask her father. I left her alone with him for 30 minutes while I ran to Target, and came home to find her amply adorned in temporary tattoos and Porter wearing nothing but a diaper. Oh, wait, that’s right – Porter doesn’t ever wear clothes. Silly me.