Monthly Archives: December 2007

No Christmas, Just Carnies

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Considering we have spent pretty much every day since Christmas trying to figure out how to assimilate the hulking pile of Christmas largesse into our living space in a way that doesn’t involve just piling it all up in the guest room, I have had nary a moment to sift through photos and organize my thoughts. I think – after building a new bookcase and an entire set of shelving in the mud room – we are almost able to put it all away. It has always been like this; we have things organized in such a way that adding one new item requires moving everything else we own into a new configuration — and you know how much Steve loves that. So you can imagine the swirling tornado that erupts each holiday season after Stella’s Birthday, Steve’s Birthday and Christmas. Next year? Perhaps a family-pass at Therapy Hut.

In order for us to sort through the remaining details like getting me a card reader for MY NEW MACBOOK!!!, I won’t be posting much for another couple of days.

Here, instead, is a photo set I found buried on my old hard drive while transferring all my data to MY NEW MACBOOK!!! last night. It is from last August when Steve took Stella to the fair.

Enjoy, and I’ll see y’all next year.

Ulcers the Elf

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For whatever reason, Christmas this year has been what I can best describe as disorganized. And I’m not talking the can’t-find-my-car-keys type disorganized, but rather the can’t-find-my-car disorganized. The holidays are usually hectic, and usually, at some point my stress level reaches a critical mass, and I begin a passive-aggressive rant, enumerating the list of undone things to a flinching husband. And, for any who are keeping track, this year that day came on a Wednesday. This last Wednesday, to be exact.

I usually get this out of the way much earlier in the season, right around the time that I manufacture a self-imposed 24-hour deadline to get Stella’s party organized, make all my online purchases, have the Christmas cards made, cure cancer AND clean my house. And for my husband, the first sign of danger is that I am actually verbalizing my anxiety. Out loud. Not just with despondent looks and heavy sighs. The only thing worse than a stressed-out internalizer, is a stressed-out internalizer, externalizing.

An unintended upside to this precipitous drop in the joy of the holiday is the realization that my husband is composed of equal parts, hotness, humor, OCD and awesomeness. After collapsing from complete physical and emotional exhaustion at 8:30 on Wednesday night, I woke up Thursday morning to find that he had gone out, bought groceries, made our Christmas candy, started the laundry, re-checked all shipping ETAs, straightened up the house, loaded the dishwasher, come up with some reasonable ideas for the remaining person whom, heretofore, had not a single gift yet purchased for them, because they do nothing but eat sleep and work. (You know who you are, Scott Walston)

Instead of appreciating him for his ability to rise to the occasion when I most need him, I tend to incessantly needle him about his compulsive behavior, flair for the dramatic and inability to multi-task. In reality, he is the one who puts up with my disaffected, stoic self, and picks up the pieces when my control-freak cape begins to fray around the edges. And if I could wrap this appreciation and put it under the tree, I would. Because that would mean one less gift I would have to stress about tracking online.

Anatomy of a Christmas Card

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You all should be receiving your Christmas Card in the next couple of days. Being that this is a task of such biblical scale (if memory serves, it took somewhere between 40 days and 40 nights to actually get through this process), I wondered if the theme of the card should actually revolve around the photo process as opposed to the photo outcome. I also thought it would be interesting for those of you who might be naive enough to think that I get these magical moments in one shot. Enjoy.

stella porter
(click photo for full set)

The Gathering of the Tree

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Considering we bought our tree the absolute first day of the month of December, this post is coming a little late, but at least this year’s did not include a spitting angry 3-year-old. Instead, Stella was in good spirits, and it didn’t take us long to pick out a sweet little tree. That said, if you saw this family coming would you get in their way?

porter steve and stella

porter steve

stella

Accessorizing is what separates us from the animals.

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If there was one thing that Stella’s 4th birthday made clear, it was that this girl will not be pigeon-holed. When you see the pictures of her dressed in her princess gear playing veterinarian you’ll understand why. Label her as tomboy or girly at your own risk.

It’s almost ridiculous how amazingly wonderful the weather is for this girl’s birthday each year. It was chilly but sunny, and we had such an amazing turnout that Steve had to do last-minute triage on the party favors so we would have enough to go around. I know that in reality everyone just wanted to see, up-close, this property after all the dire and freakish descriptions I have given on this website.

After last year’s cake debacle, we had to think long and hard how we were going to get this girl a cake that was actually edible and worth looking at. So we did what any red-blooded American would do, and we bought one at Costco. And can I just say that this cake was like taking a new pair of shoes and wrapping them in diamonds, then dipping that in chocolate. YES, THAT GOOD. 6 pound chocolate cake, indeed. Once I picked it out, I begged the lady at the pastry counter to write on it for me, then gave Stella an entire bottle of multi-colored sprinkles, and handful of maraschino cherries and told her to accessorize to her heart’s content. This is what I call win-win.

As always, everyone was amazingly generous, and Stella got no end of cool things from all of her adoring fans. I can think of no better inaugural party for the new house.